An Evaluation of My Personal Communication Style

     In evaluating my communication style, I utilized the communication measures developed by Ruben, Palmgreen and Sypher (2009), which included the Communication Anxiety Inventory, the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale, and  the Listening Styles Profile-16 (2009).  The measures are presented as self-assessment questionnaires.  When I completed the assessments I found, from the Communication Anxiety Inventory, that at times, my communication anxiety levels are "elevated", meaning that, "[I] feel uncomfortable in several communication contexts".  This is true when I am trying to make conversation with people who are new to me.  The self-assessment results from the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale rate my verbal aggressiveness as moderate:  "[I] maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others' viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position."  From the third self-assessment, Listening Styles Profile, I find that I am in "Group 1":  "[I] am empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others.  This listening style helps [me] to build relationships, but it can interfere with proper judgment because [I] tend to be very trusting of others".

After completing the assessments myself, I invited my daughter, Kira, (pictured at left) and my dear friend and colleague Berit (pictured below) to evaluate my communication style using the same assessments.  I was pleased to see that they both evaluated me as "moderate" in verbal aggressiveness and as "Group 1" on the Listening Styles Profile, which were congruent with my own findings.  The results differed however in the Communication Anxiety Inventory.  Kira rated me as having "mild" communication anxiety meaning, "[I] feel a bit uneasy in some communication situations and somewhat more confident in other contexts.  Communication does not seem to be something that []I worry a great deal about" (2009).      Berit rated my communication anxiety as "low" meaning, "[I] feel comfortable communicating in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters" (2009).  I am not surprised by this aspect of the evaluation, because although I feel anxious at times in communication situations, I also endeavor to calm any feelings of anxiety as quickly as possible for the sake of effective communication, therefore others are less likely to sense anxiety on my part.    

Resources:

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, M. A., & Sypher, H.E. (Eds) (2009).  Communication research measures:  A resource book. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R.D., Rubin, M. A., Grahm, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds) (2009).  Communication research measures II:  A sourcebook.  New York:  Routledge

Resisting Cultural Myopia

     I have written somewhat extensively about topics related to culture in New Mexico.... which to say the least is diversified.  As an Anglo in Northern New Mexico, I am part of the minority culture.  In Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond we learn that, "Non-Hispanic Whites constitute a minority of the population in Texas, New Mexico, and California."  My children attend St. Michael's High School which is a Catholic school populated primarily by Northern New Mexico Hispanics.  I am an actively involved parent, and volunteer a great deal of time to the school.  This means that I often work with Hispanic families.  I am very familiar with the culture of Northern New Mexico, and how the culture has been dominated by the influx of Non-Hispanic Whites during the 1940's.  For the most part, Northern New Mexico is considered rural, with the capital of New Mexico, Santa Fe, topping out at around 72,000 people.

     I recognize in myself, a tendency to take great care in how I communicate with the Hispanic families of this area.  I am careful to utilize words and phrases that do not seem assumptive or superior in any way.  Large extended families are typical in this area of New Mexico and of the greatest importance- well beyond the pursuit of high-powered careers and the pursuit of wealth.  One way of showing respect in this culture is to ask about the children.  No conversation is complete without inquiring, by name, after the children of the family, as well as asking after the health and well-being of the family elders.  At St. Michael's High School many of the students are athletes and are well supported by their families in their athletic endeavors.  Naturally it is important to comment upon the accomplishments of these athletes... in order to show a genuine interest.  Even though, in our family, sports come second to academics, that is not necessarily the case for all of the families at St. Michael's.

     As a non-Hispanic White, another way of showing respect to this population, which has historically been shown very little respect is to ask, "What do you think?  What do you suggest we do in this situation?  Can you help me with this problem?"  Because the intergenerational ties in this community are so strong, relevant information and wisdom about the area is passed down from one generation to the next.  It is a mistake to cast off this information as irrelevant.  The families I know, work hard to give their children a private education.  They are devout in their ways regarding the Catholic church, and they care immensely about the well being of their children.  However, many of these same families have been consistently shunned, and shown very little respect over the decades by non-Hispanic new comers to the area, and I often am aware of an overall sense of caution and sometimes suspicion between the cultures of the area.   Although the situation has improved, in many ways the racial relations in Northern New Mexico still have a lot of room for improvement... and each culture here: Northern New Mexico Hispanic, Native American, Mexican immigrant and non-Hispanic White,  has an equal responsibility to reduce and eliminate cultural myopia.

Isolating Non-verbal Communication from the Corresponding Verbal Communication: What Can We Learn?

This was an interesting exercise...  Choose a T.V. show of which you are unfamiliar.  Watch the show with the audio omitted, gleaning as much information as possible through the visual observation of the non-verbal messages displayed by the actors.  Because we choose not to have television in our home, most TV shows produced since 2000 or so I am fairly unfamiliar with.  So I browsed Netflix and chose two different shows:  Parks and Recreation, Season 1 Pilot Episode, and Bones "The Mastodon in the Room" Season 6 Episode 1.
In Parks and Recreation the non-verbal clues were fairly obvious.  As I watched without sound, I was able to glean, through written clues, that Leslie Knope works in the Parks and Recreation Department of Indiana.  Through her interactions with others in meetings it became clear that she works with a group of people.  It also was apparent through her facial expressions that she is romantically attracted to character Mark Brendanawicz.  Character Ann Perkins, at a public meeting, appears through her facial expressions and body language to be a concerned citizen, and Leslie seems to show an interest in addressing Ann's concerns positively.  Character Tom Haverford points to his wedding ring during the public meeting, which to me meant he was indicating that he is married.  However, the fact that he was actually "coming on" to the Ann Perkins character was not evident to me until I watched the show again with the sound on.

In Bones the non-verbal clues, I thought, were less obvious than in Parks and Recreation.  However, even without sound, I was able to understand that Dr. Brennan lacks and longs for social connectedness with others.  The scene shows Dr. Brennan at the airport, on separate occasions saying goodbye to people she clearly knows and feels warmly about.... in particular the character Special Agent Seeley Booth.  This is made apparent by the slow motion image of them reluctantly letting go of each other's hands when they say good bye.  Through deliberate and purposeful body language, the scene in Indonesia shows Dr. Brennan as competent, determined and brave, while her colleague, the character Daisy, through her lack of deliberate body language and the constant look of confusion on her face, and Dr. Brennan's look of bafflement as she observes Daisy in her underwear, seems to communicate her subservient role to Dr. Brennan.  All of these "assumptions" on my part were confirmed when verbal language was included.

In this exercise however we were not only eliminating the verbal language from the communication, but the music as well.  Music plays a tremendous role in our understanding of what is happening in a movie or television show.  I think that more research related to the role of music in communication is warranted.  The findings, I believe, would be relevant to this topic and interesting.  Another thought I had while conducting this exercise, is just how good the actors are at assuming the personalities of the characters they play.  This seems even more obvious when observing all the non-verbal communication that the actors "act" while delivering their verbal lines.  I really found the acting competence to be remarkable.

How Does She Do It?

Michelle Obama, 2012 Democratic National Convention.

     On September 4, 2012, Michelle Obama gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention.  Since September 4, this You Tube video has received over 2 million hits!
     When I started thinking about people whom I know are good communicators, my first thought was- Not Me!  The exception, I suppose, would be when I communicate with my girls, and when I communicate in the classroom with my students.  The next person, that came to mind, as someone I really do recognize as a good communicator, was my U.S. History Professor at Indiana University.  The hall in which he taught could seat 400 students.  Often times, however, there was standing room only in the hall, because other students not enrolled in the class would sit/stand in on his lectures.  The third person I thought of is the president of the high school at which my daughters attend school.  I have complimented, President Marcia Sullivan before on her speeches- even those impromptu speeches she often finds herself giving to parents, alumni, faculty, community members, or students.  Then I asked my 16 year old daughter what she thought about the topic-  Who do we know, or know of, that seems to have good communication skills?  Without hesitation, she suggested I take a look at the speech given by Michelle Obama at the 2012 National Democratic Convention.  Like many people, apparently, who watched this speech, I was moved at times to tears or near tears.  Why is that?  Sure the content of the speech was meaningful, but there had to be something in the delivery as well.  After all, a well written speech that is poorly given immediately becomes an example of poor communication.  So... in regard to the people mentioned above: my history professor, Marcia Sullivan- President of St. Michael's High School, and Michelle Obama- First Lady of the United States; what is it about the way in which these people communicate that makes them good communicators?  What is the common factor?  Well... I think it is that they are all easy to listen to.  In the case of Michelle Obama, her words are spoken at a natural and conversational pace.  Her body language and eye contact correspond well with what she is saying.  The inflections in her voice rise and fall in very natural way.  She uses silence at all the right moments, to contrast important points she is making.  The sincerity in her voice, even the slight quavering when she spoke of her daughters, made it seem like she truly was passionate about what she was saying... believable.
     I would love to be able to articulate my thoughts and ideas as well as Michelle Obama did in her speech- where there is no loss for words, the message is unmistakably clear and delivered in a natural, believable, and easy to listen to way.  Hmm... I think I need a lot of practice.

Resources:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTPdKUA9Ipg